- Friend: Hey, can we move?
- Me: Sure, why? What's up?
- Friend: This vent is blowing warm air on me, which is fine. But Adrian is standing behind me And I keep thinking he's breathing on my neck.
- [I look up, Adrian is staring at us, eating popcorn]
- Me: JESUS.
if breasts, butts and legs are so distracting to men, to the point they cant function
why arent they that distracting to lesbians
and at that point
why isnt the penis bulge and legs not distracting enough to gay men to warrant men being put under the same dress codes
This guy on the bus is planning a party and keeps talking about this girl who he’s trying to fuck, and how he and his friend needs to invite her. But how the fact that he was in a porno might ruin his chances with her. But the fact that he was in a porno might prove his manhood!
This is the second time. What.
I was wing girl for my friend and the guy’s friend was super boring. So as I had more to drink, I decided to fuck with him. At the time, I was taking a drawing class led by a tiny Russian woman. After spending about 20 hours/week with her, I could mimic her accent pretty well.
So of course I started speaking with a Russian accent. He asked me about it. “I was adopted, but I was born in Russia. Sometimes my accent comes out when I’m drunk.”
And then there was this intricate back story about St. Petersburg, and art school, etc. Needless to say, I shat all over that wing girl endeavor.
Things that you shouldn’t do when you bar back: make fun of a bunch of guys to their faces when you see their “lemon drops”.
Following it up with, “But then again, I’m a whiskey drinker so what do I know?” doesn’t help. Actually makes things worse.