So I’m on the bus, on my way home. Minding my own business, headphones in. Some guy sits down next to me and strokes my thigh all the way up to my underwear. And by stroke, I mean pulls my shorts up so that my underwear is exposed.

So obviously I’m pissed and I switch seats. The fucker starts yelling at me?

Fuck everything. I’m seething. What the fuck is wrong with people?!

Holy crap

My roommate and I walked to CVS just now. I had just finished telling him about how I used to be consistently sexually harassed and assaulted at work. And then, as we cross the street, a car pulls up and comments on my ass. I wave him away, he follows us into the store.

"What’s wrong? She too much for you, nigga?"
“Dude, she obviously isn’t into this, just leave her alone.”
“Oh, you don’t want to know what you’re messing with.”
“You’re right. Just leave her alone.”

Thank God for good roommates.

Of course.
  • Guy: Hey, white chocolate, can I walk where you're walking?
  • Me: Sure but the walk is over. I'm here.
  • Guy: Well, can I buy you a drink?
  • Me: I mean, I appreciate the offer but I'm having a long day and was planning on one, then done.
  • Guy: Well, why? Why not drink all night?
  • Me: Because the bars close early and I have work tomorrow morning.
  • Guy: When?
  • Me: Early.
  • Guy: How early is early?
  • Me: Eight.
  • Guy: Why not come in late?
  • Me: I can't do that.
  • Guy: Why?
  • Me: Talking to you is like talking to a toddler. We aren't drinking together.
So Monday probably set a record for weirdest crap ever.

Was propositioned to participate in two threesomes. Not for one threesome, twice. Two. Separate. Threesomes. One was two guys, one girl. One was two girls, one guy. Pass.

Got insulted by a toddler on the bus. This kid pretty much shat on My existence in baby talk.

Lastly, a homeless man approached my work, took off the top of the smoker’s pole, stripped naked and crouched like he was going to take a shit in it. Then he stood back up and walked off with his pants around his knees. Oh, and I (along with three other girls) was 5 feet away.

I can’t even.


nevver:

I’m Not Worried About You

At the bar with coworkers. We're sitting under a heat vent.
  • Friend: Hey, can we move?
  • Me: Sure, why? What's up?
  • Friend: This vent is blowing warm air on me, which is fine. But Adrian is standing behind me And I keep thinking he's breathing on my neck.
  • [I look up, Adrian is staring at us, eating popcorn]
  • Me: JESUS.

louderdecibelle:

koizumim:

really though

if breasts, butts and legs are so distracting to men, to the point they cant function

why arent they that distracting to lesbians

and at that point

why isnt the penis bulge and legs not distracting enough to gay men to warrant men being put under the same dress codes

coolscar:

wittlebiscuit:

coolscar:

*pops collar*

put that down

*sadly smooths collar back down*

Hahaha what

This guy on the bus is planning a party and keeps talking about this girl who he’s trying to fuck, and how he and his friend needs to invite her. But how the fact that he was in a porno might ruin his chances with her. But the fact that he was in a porno might prove his manhood!

Solid reasoning.