WHY DOES THIS ALWAYS HAPPEN TO ME?! AND SINCE WHEN DID HE HAVE A CRUSH ON ME?!
BASICALLY, there was a European table who I seated earlier in the night who wanted a booth. Nothing was open, then one got up and I moved them there. They were super grateful when they left. “Thank you so much, sweetheart!” And then he leaned in. I thought he was going for an air kiss or some shit. So that’s what I did. No. He whispered in my ear, “I like your lipstick, it’s very sexy.”
So I step back and apologize. Same time, he steps back, locks eyes, raises his eyebrow, then gives me the look.
Old enough to be my grandpa.
So this guy walked up to me on the metro and said, “So my friends said you were a 6 out of 10 but I said you’re more like a 9. What do you think you are?”
To which I replied, “I am not a number.”
Guy, “No, on a scale from 1 to 10.”
So again, “I am not a number. I do not give a single fuck how hot you think I am.”
And then he walked away.
So of course I had to follow him.
"So is that it? You know what? Fuck you. I realize this is some stupid ploy to make girls feel badly about themselves. One quick question, though. What the fuck? Seriously."
"I’m sorry, I am."
"I really don’t think you are. You realize the girls who would actually respond to that question are the insecure ones who absolutely do not need to feel any worse about themselves than they already do, right? And the ones who know better are the ones who would probably slap you and break your glasses."
"I said I’m sorry."
"Yeah, and I don’t believe you. Fuck you. Fuck you and tell all of your friends to fuck off as well. That was totally uncalled for. You don’t know my situation. I just worked 14 hours, and was hit by a car. I’m allowed to look forever the fuck I want to look. So piss off and leave me alone.l
It was actually pretty lame. I was hoping my first hit and run sorry would be some epic tale but all I got is a curb-shaped bruise and a sore back.
This cab smells like a sweaty ball sack.
Made friends with the cast of some Shakespearian play and got free tickets to any/all shows. Which was pretty cool.
Some photos as well, if I remember correctly. Will post soon.
- Me: (Sitting on toilet, minding business.)
- Roommate A: (Suddenly opens door.)
- Me: ... Hello!
- Roommate A: HOLY SHIT. (Falls down, crawls out of bathroom.)
- Me: I'm sorry! I didn't know what to say! I didn't want to scare you and I didn't want to be rude!